


Culmination

by redrose639



Series: Juxtaposition [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: Discovery, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Collection of one shots and arcs that are all somewhat connected, F/M, Family, Marriage, Pon Farr, Pregnancy, time crystal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:07:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27048448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redrose639/pseuds/redrose639
Summary: Marriage is never easy - especially when you throw a Vulcan and a human into the mix.Or, the chronological account of the marriage between Sarek and Amanda.
Relationships: Amanda Grayson/Sarek
Series: Juxtaposition [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913416
Comments: 60
Kudos: 128





	1. Prologue

_Year 2248_

As Spock stared at the flashing, gaudy invitation on the screen of his PADD, he – not for the first time, mind you – thought to himself what his parents would do.

When faced with a social endeavor, Spock was never one to particularly thrive. Not like his father – _Sarek,_ Spock quickly corrected himself – did. As a diplomat, Sarek was somehow renowned for his way of making reason with even the most illogical species. The reason for this was frankly lost to Spock, who believed he hadn’t seen such skills displayed by his father in quite a few years. 

Perhaps what was considered skill was really just an immeasurable amount of patience.

And then, there was his mother.

His mother was a bit trickier to decipher. As mercurial as Earth’s Pacific Ocean, one moment she was smiling and charming her way around the room (assuming that the occupants were a mix of other species rather than Vulcans, of course), and the next she was quietly bemoaning at how ‘stuffy and horrid’ the whole affair was. From across the immaculately placed table, she would send her young son a pained expression, and this little secret act would bring a warmth to his chest when he was a boy. It had become clear to Spock as he was growing up that although she did not particularly enjoy the tedious affairs that came with hers and Sarek's own respective careers, she was nonetheless capable of acting like it.

But, Spock reasoned, this Starfleet social gathering was not the same as a diplomatic affair. _This_ is something his mother would press on him to go to – to go make friends. This was something his mother would thrive in, in a way that neither Sarek nor Spock could ever.

Frustration flared in his chest. In an uncharacteristic move, Spock tossed his PADD carelessly onto the bed, shrugged on an Earth styled coat, and walked out into the brisk San Francisco air.

Perhaps, he was approaching this predicament in the wrong manner. His siblings – wherever they may be now – would be a more relevant comparison, considering them being closer in age. But Spock quickly decided that Sybok would perhaps thrive with his natural charisma and eloquence, the latter of which was often attributed to their father. And Michael? Well, his elder sister was fearless and undaunted. Focused. On quiet nights, Spock often thought to himself that Michael was more of a true Vulcan than Spock would ever be.

Spock attempted to lift up his coat’s collar in vain, as it did little to alleviate the chilly winds that graced Starfleet Academy. Laughter echoed across from the other side of the courtyard, where a group of students sat together eating lunch.

He – not for the first time – wondered if coming here was a mistake.

As he glanced towards the students, however, a figure caught his eye.

Her short stature had slowed to a stop, as if caught in action. It took him less than a split second to recognize his mother. The only reason it took him any longer was due to her human clothing and loose, flowing hair. It was indeed his mother, Spock reconfirmed, who was somehow on Earth.

From across, Amanda Grayson raised her hand in a sheepish wave.

* * *

Spock eyed his mother's drink warily. He's only been on Earth among humans for two weeks, but he has already been made quite aware of the effects of intoxication. 

"Oh, don't judge me," admonished Amanda, as she wrapped up her brown hair in a loose, messy bun. "It's been a long week."

Spock wisely decided not to press on it. "I was not aware you had business on Earth."

Amanda raised an eyebrow. "Spock, when do I ever need a reason to see my son?"

"I would assume by your tone that it is never, but it is strange considering I had seen you only thirteen days ago. Furthermore, if I recall correctly, you have not visited Earth in the past eight years."

"Was it really that long ago?" mused Amanda, a small frown gracing her face. Remembering what forced her to return to Earth eight years ago, Spock found himself reluctant to break the silence. 

Amanda suddenly shook her head, as if waking up. "Love, how have you been?"

It occurred to Spock that this was the perfect (and he used that term subjectively, of course) time to bring up his predicament. Although Spock was certain of his mother's response, hearing it from her directly would be comforting. But Spock hesitated. He was already doubting his decision in coming here, and he sought no reason to bring that doubt onto his mother. His mother, he knew, would worry unnecessarily. 

So instead, he answered, "I am well." He tilted his head. "May I inquire your reason for being here, if not for business?"

Faintly exasperated, Amanda reached into her bag.

Spock blinked when a small, soft item was tossed into his lap. In a forthright manner, Amanda nodded at it. "I meant to bring this to you."

The item was made of a soft, knitted wool. "It is a hat."

"A beanie," corrected Amanda. "It's your father's - he uses them whenever he has to go to an ice planet like Andoria for business. It'll suit you well here."

Amanda pursed her lips as Spock inspected it. "You don't like it?"

There was a sharpness in her tone that Spock recognized far too well. Spock and his siblings were definitely on the receiving end of it before, but it was mainly Sarek who was more often than not graced with it. 

"It is appreciated," Spock answered carefully. "You travelled sixteen light years to bring me a beanie?"

Amanda gave Spock a soft smile, but it was not a familiar one. And he had a startling realization that it was sad.

“Spock,” she said, with the smile intact. “I’ve been on Earth for the past two weeks, and I’m staying. Indefinitely.”

Spock blinked. “What do you mean to do in this time?”

“I was offered by the Academy to be a visiting professor for the current academic year. We’ll see what happens after.” She raised her hands up. “Don’t worry – I won’t embarrass you here, I promise.”

_We’ll see what happens after._

In Spock’s surprise, he forgot to refer to his father by his name. “You left father.”

His mother held her hand out, and Spock accepted it.

Spock always felt from his mother a flurry of emotions. She was a sandstorm, while Sarek was a levelled lake.

Spock felt from her a surprising amount of determination. Of purpose. Some fear, though it was invigorating rather than debilitating, and some sadness and pain. But there was an overwhelming amount of assuredness, as Amanda promised, “Spock, it was _not_ because of what happened – ”

Spock spoke in a fast manner. “That is unlikely considering the argument that had entailed. While we may have had a serious disagreement, it was not my intention for you and Sarek – ”

“‘ _Sarek_ ’,” suddenly exclaimed Amanda. She threw her hands up. “My god. You both can be so dramatic sometimes. Spock, he is your _father._ And refusing to call him such isn’t going to change anything.”

“It was his decision to denounce me as his son and cast me out of the S’chn T’gai clan.”

Amanda’s face tightened, and her smile disappeared. Part of Spock regretted that, but the other part felt relieved at stirring her out of the facade.

“I know,” she said flatly. “Believe me, I know. But that isn’t wholly it. So please, do not blame yourself for this.”

“Your words for comfort are appreciated, but not necessary. It is evident that me rejecting the Vulcan Science Academy was a source of great distress among the family, and it clearly led to the dissolution of marriage with Sarek.”

“Dramatic,” Amanda repeated. “And no, love. I am sincere when I say that this was a long time coming. Your father knew it, and I knew it as well.”

Spock found himself confused. His mother was gazing levelly at him. Her eyebrows were slightly furrowed and her mouth in a small frown, but there was no obscene display of pain or grief. “I do not understand. I was under the impression that you and Sarek shared a… mutually satisfying and content partnership. I was not aware there were serious strains.”

Because past all the arguing and disagreements and shouting (on his mother’s behalf), Spock always saw in Sarek a softening when it came to his wife. And as for Mother, well, Spock steadfastly believed she was capable of loving anything.

His mother chuckled, and Spock deemed it genuine. “Well, your father is not always an easy man to love, and it’s not easy for a Vulcan to give it.”

“When I had asked him as a child, he said that he married you because it was logical.”

Spock remembered it clearly. He was ten years old, then. Covered in bruises and filled with confusion. That was the first time he had hit somebody.

Amanda seemed to contemplate this. Surprisingly unfazed, Amanda shrugged. “Love, you’ll learn quickly enough that logic is subjective.”

Privately, Spock disagreed.

Amanda continued, “And in some way, he believes that there are other things even stronger and more valued than love. In that, I think he’s somewhat right.”

Spock fell silent for a moment. “You do not love him anymore.” Spock found that to be a rather sad thought.

But Amanda frowned and shook her head. “I still love him. I do – it’s just love is not always enough.”

“I do not understand.”

“Well,” she mused. A strong breeze fluttered the strands around her head. “Love is only one facet in marriage – and in any relationship. Another one is history, which is tied to trust. And another is communication.” She sighed. “Your father sorely lacks in the latter. It’s a marvel, considering we are bonded.”

“You are still bonded with him?”

“Of course.” Amanda grimaced. “I know it’s confusing – I hardly understand it myself. But right now, your father and I are simply… _separated_.”

He thought about how Amanda was to remain here ‘indefinitely’. “Do you intend to remain so?”

“I don’t know,” she said honestly after a pause. “We have reached a point where both of us have to get ourselves sorted out first before deciding anything. Your father, especially.”

Spock exhaled, in what was almost a sigh. “I am sincere when I say I did not intend for this to occur.”

Amanda patted his arm. “Spock, listen to me. This wasn’t a sudden decision that occurred solely because of Starfleet. It was a… culmination, of sorts.”

“Of the arguments?” He remembered hearing Amanda’s raised voice during certain nights. It always coincided whenever one of the children tested Sarek’s patience – which happened quite a bit.

His mother’s face softened, and it was almost warm. “No, love. It was not just the bad. All the good, the great, and the tragedies – they’re all tied together. And how your father and I ended up now is just… just how it came to be.”

Silence befell the both of them, and the sound of waves softly crashing filled the air once more.

As they walked back down the winding streets of San Francisco, Amanda asked, “You avoided the question earlier – how is everything? Classes? The people?”

Spock glanced down at his mother. It was strange, how time made his parents shrink. He could remember vividly a time when he thought his mother tall and Sarek towering, like beacons.

“I admittedly am at an impasse.” He explained to her the upcoming Starfleet social. “Essentially, I am uncertain if I should attend this gathering.”

There was a lot he hadn’t said – how he felt himself lacking in friends, in company, and in confidence – yet somehow, Spock sensed she understood. She gave him the same soft expression she always did – faintly worried yet also amused, as if they both already knew the answer.

He knew she would tell him to go and branch out and –

“So don’t go.”

They reached his dormitory building, and they both stopped as Spock turned to stare at his mother.

She smiled. “Don’t go if you are truly uncomfortable. It takes time to acclimate to a new planet and new people – and that’s perfectly alright. It took me ages to adjust to Vulcan society, and even now, I’m still always learning.” She sighed and brushed off a stray leaf from his shoulder.

“But,” she emphasized, patting his arm. “- if it fear that is stopping you, go even if you're afraid – _because_ you're afraid. The first step is always the hardest, but you have a good, sincere heart that people will see. And think about it this way: everyone here on campus is having a fresh start – just like you. Everyone is afraid, nervous, and stressed, and that’s – ”

“Perfectly alright,” finished Spock. For once, he didn’t question the meaning of this paradoxical phrase he has heard since childhood.

His mother beamed up at him. “Exactly.”

Looking at his mother now, Spock supposed he had never seen her so relaxed in public. The only place on Vulcan she could relax was home at the D’H’riset. But on the streets of Vulcan, there was a certain image she carried – the ambassador’s human wife.

To the Vulcans, she was invisible, in that way. She wasn’t Amanda Grayson.

On Earth, she was invisible, too. No, corrected Spock – it wasn’t an invisibility. It was a freedom.

It was something Spock felt here, as well. Realizing this, Spock felt a sense of peace over his decision, for once.

Spock accepted her hug, as she continued, “And I know it’s never cool to have your mother around you during school, but I’m always here should you ever need anything – even if just company.”

“Perhaps weekly lunches will suffice.”

Spock knew he said the right thing when she hugged him tighter. “That sounds lovely.”

“Will you be well on your own?” he asked, as he stepped away.

“Yes, yes,” she assured him. “This isn’t the first time I left your father, you know.”

Spock apparently did not manage to completely hide his disbelief, as Amanda laughed, “There’s quite a bit we didn’t tell you kids, did we?”

“Evidently."

There was a familiar twinkle in her brown eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ll tell you all about it.”

* * *

An hour later, Amanda tentatively stepped into the cool, brisk waters of the Pacific. The cold bit at her toes, but her eyes closed regardless, and she swayed against the force of the tides and wind.

She deeply inhaled the salty air and relished in the warmth of the sun’s light.

It really had been too long.

Eventually, she sat down – alone – on the white sand. She could hear the waves crashing and the sharp cries of birds as they swooped overhead, as well as the laughter from a young family sitting nearby. It was so loud here on Earth, yet it never felt more silent.

The bond was… silent.

Amanda exhaled slowly, burrowing her hands deep into the sand – and with it, her anger and sadness.

As the fine grains of sand slipped through her fingers, she remembered a time long ago, when she and Sarek were at a beach. Except it wasn’t here in California, but on the other side of the Pacific Ocean. A small smile slowly graced her mouth.

Amanda softly snorted to herself.

There many things she couldn’t tell her son, but those, well, Amanda can cherish them all herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I will quickly say that although reading A Case Study is not REQUIRED, it would be helpful to read as I do mention it quite often especially in the early chapters.
> 
> for those of you returning from A Case Study, hi <3 The prompt of Culmination is pretty self explanatory, and it is basically starting from the beginning of the marriage and extending all the way to now in the prologue. Culmination is essentially a mix of one shots and arcs (spans several chapters) that are all somewhat tied together. I'm going to try to explain how a lot of events happen like pregnancy, Michael's joining, WHY SAREK WAS SO PISSED ABOUT SPOCK JOINING STARFLEET (AH), etc. There's fluff and there's angst. It's definitely not as planned out as ACS, but hopefully just as enjoyable.
> 
> My goal is to show what I think marriage between the two is like. Sarek is not a great husband nor a great father - BUT neither is he a terrible one. He's SAREK and I love him but he has flaws, just like Amanda does as well. 
> 
> Whether you're new or old to this story, comments keep me going :))) I love to hear what people think and answer questions!


	2. Honeymoon

Newly bonded, Amanda recognized that she and Sarek were, in many ways, still rather new to each other.

True, the mind-meld had conveniently sped up the process of solving the whole ‘are we compatible’ dilemma humans often took years in figuring out. It took only the meld to confirm that this was it – this was all they needed.

Yet they still managed to surprised each other, even with the newly formed bond connecting them. Sure, she was intimately aware of his _katra_ and knew his deepest thoughts and feelings - but did she know if he liked the color green or whether he preferred classical or jazz?

(She later learned his answers were occasionally and classical, respectively.)

So she relished learning the small things about him. Things like Sarek drinks one cup of hot tea every morning – preferably Vulcan spice tea. Which in turn, gives him his characteristic scent that Amanda was rather fond of. The first time she tried it, she nearly choked, as it was spicy in the literal sense. He also shaves his beard every night, as well as meditates. He folds his discarded clothes before his night meditations, even if that means untangling himself from her as she slept. He sleeps straight on his back, hands folded on his stomach and then wakes up precisely four hours later.

This time period was as much of a learning experience for Sarek as well. He approached it more logically, of course, as knowing the ‘rituals’ of a bondmate was important in establishing an equilibrium in their new household. Granted, they haven’t been to their D’H’riset home since the night of their union, but he considered this to be an excellent time to practice.

He learned of her 'strange' human habits and tendencies – including that humans were comparatively insatiable to Vulcans when it came to sexual desire. Amanda had smiled when she felt his surprise at her reaching for him at night once again.

“Perhaps,” he mused stoically, as she sat in his lap. “– it is the copious amount of candy you have consumed. Vulcana Regar’s delicacies have been colloquially deemed as aphrodisiacs among certain species.”

She hummed, as she reached for his tunic. Her tone was light. “Perhaps. They’re rather addictive, and I _still_ taste them. It’s as though I’m made of candy.”

Sarek, for his part, was becoming more capable in centering himself during these ‘necessary’ acts. Amanda liked to tease she was only helping by testing his mental control. His gaze was annoyingly leveled, as he reached with a steady hand to unwind her hair from its braid. “At this current temperature, you would melt, not unlike sugar.”

Her lips brushed against his neck, as she distractedly asked, “Am I so sweet?”

“I do not know,” he answered, somewhat boldly. Sarek’s hands found her waist and tightened. “I have not tasted.”

Despite herself, she snorted in laughter at his neck. So much for setting the mood, she thought, as she pulled back with a grin. Her hands laced behind his neck, and she asked almost accusatorily, “Did you just flirt?”

He considered this. “I am uncertain. Admittedly, my previous attempts at _flirting_ with you did not seem successful.”

“I don’t believe it – you don’t flirt. You are more of a – ” Amanda made a vague gesture. “ – just do it kind of person.”

“I generally am, but I have in the past attempted to attract your attention in a sexual nature.”

“When?”

As if giving an obvious answer, Sarek swiftly replied, “I lit the candles.”

Amanda blinked. “What?”

“I lit the candles,” he repeated. Sarek tilted his head, and his eyes reflected the lights of the stars that shone through the window. “It had come to my notice that you do not initiate sex until the candles are lit.”

“Oh, god,” Amanda laughed, as a memory stirred up. “Are you talking about two days ago?”

“Yes.”

“Sarek, it was the middle of the day. I thought you were trying to meditate.”

He paused. “You do not prefer sex in the daytime?”

“No, no,” she quickly assured. Amanda knew she had to be very, very careful in explaining this – or else he’d refrain from ever touching her during the day. “I mean – any time is good. It’s just I didn’t know it was on your mind.”

"Then my attempt to ‘flirt’ failed.”

“No, it – ” Amanda pursed her lips. “Okay, yes. But it was good effort. I suggest being more straightforward with it. Verbally or physically.”

“Clarify.”

“Well, your earlier remark with the ‘taste’ was quite nice.”

“Verbal banter,” he concluded, as if mentally noting it. No doubt, he probably was. “And physically?”

“Just act.” She raised her eyebrows. “You don’t need to ask for permission every single time. If I don’t want to continue it, I’ll certainly let you know.”

“Just act,” he repeated plainly.

“Yes. A little surprise never hurts anybody. It’s straight to the point and quite excit – ”

She yelped, as he suddenly swept her onto her back, and her laugh soon turned into a moan.

In the times they weren't in bed, they were out wandering the Vulcan streets of Vulcana Regar. Sarek and she had visited this cultural hotspot of a city months ago as friends, but it was admittedly under much more tense circumstances. So now when she thinks of Vulcana Regar, she doesn’t think of almost passing out from blood loss and pain and Sarek almost dying. Now, she thinks of its vibrant culture and flashes of its colorful lanterns.

They spanned the streets every day, and Sarek was an excellent tourguide. She recognized that it was important to familiarize herself with her husband’s culture, and they visited gardens, museums, and historical structures. Amanda found herself in awe of the elaborate customs of Vulcan religion, and she would find peace in sitting in their structures as Sarek would meditate. It was a glimpse of her upcoming life on Vulcan, and she found herself falling in love with this planet as well. 

Sarek had also found out early on about her problem sleeping. Ever since the attack on the United Embassy when she had lost her team – her _friends_ , she has had issues in staying asleep for long periods of time. Amanda always had this problem when she was stressed or afraid, like whenever she had to space travel. But even in the safety of Sarek’s arms, she still would wake up at odd hours with her heart racing – especially on nights when she worked late for her upcoming presentation at the Federation’s Annual Research Conference.

Amanda brought sleeping medication with her, and she pulled them out for the first time at their private lodgings at the outskirts of Vulcana Regar. Sarek was meditating on the ground, but when he felt her stray thought and heard the sound of the pills clacking against each other, he soon appeared in front of her and asked to see them.

“It’s just sleeping pills,” she assured him as he inspected the label. She was kneeling on the edge of the bed as she looked up at him. “It helps a bit.”

Sarek was quiet for a moment, and she couldn’t feel him well. Whenever he meditated or was in the middle of it, he closed his mind off to focus. “I would like to offer an alternative, should you accept.”

Amanda nodded.

“It would require you to undress. Neuro-pressure therapy requires contact with skin.”

At this point, Amanda couldn’t resist. She rose on her knees, so that they were eyelevel. She loosely wrapped her arms around his neck. “You know what else helps me sleep?”

Sarek raised an eyebrow.

“Sex,” she deadpanned.

“That is expected. Neurochemicals released in the brain during copulation often leads to fatigue.”

Amanda raised an eyebrow in return.

Sarek actually _sighed_ , but she could feel his amusement – and anticipation – as he lowered his mind’s shields and dryly replied, “I am but a dutiful husband.”

Later, when they were both bare in clothing, he slowly and precisely massaged the neural nodes along her back and used their bond to ease the tightly wound nerves in her mind. It had hurt at first, like pain that came from standing after sitting down in one position for so long. She’d inhale or gasp sharply, and he’d proceed more gently.

That night, Amanda slept for hours straight. Soon, it became another part of their ritual.

These rituals remained even when they continued their honeymoon on Earth. She was pleasantly surprised when he picked a tropical destination. Amanda did not consider him to be a lie-down on the beach kind of Vulcan – and he wasn’t.

Sarek had never seen a waterfall before, and he was not one to deny a good hike. Furthermore, the South Pacific islands had tons of human cultural aspects that Sarek was incredibly curious about. So, they found themselves hopping among islands throughout the day using a watercraft. It was essentially a solar-powered jet ski, and according to him, much like riding a Vulcan speeder – which, of course, he was adept in. Their honeymoon thankfully lined up with a time when there were few tourists due to the looming typhoon season and increased rainfall. But Sarek, who spent most of his life never seeing rain before, welcomed the chance to experience it.

It also helped that with his ambassador status, they were able to find a secluded and private bungalow on an island to stay in. It was tucked on a lush mountain side that gave them the most breathtaking view of the rest of the island and the glittering ocean. The native people and caretakers of this island have resisted most efforts of tourist agencies to modernize the experience, which meant there was little technology offered. No replicators, meaning they had to cruise to a nearby island to reach the market. There was running water and solar powered ceiling fans, but that was it. Amanda was rather skeptical about this aspect, but they brought a mini generator so that she’d be able to finish up her work on her PADD.

Sarek unsurprisingly viewed each day as a lesson and planned out every hour. Indeed, when she asked, Sarek revealed this was the closest to a ‘vacation’ he had ever been on. Sarek certainly seemed to be making the most out of it, as he quickly familiarized himself with most of the Samoan language – which he explained was more similar in syntax to Vulcan than Standard – and customs. Most of the people had never seen a Vulcan before and found him utterly charming. It was not uncommon for the little kids to sneak behind Sarek like little ducks, at least until he would turn to raise an eyebrow at them and they’d scramble away in giggles.

But they spent most days to themselves exploring islands and terrains. The good thing about being back to her home planet was that she did not get as easily winded down as she did in Vulcan. She endured longer on their hikes and pushed through Sarek's often-intense, efficiently-planned schedules. The climate, although still very warm, was much cooler compared to Vulcan and, as it was typhoon season, the temperature dropped a bit as well. A layer of moisture always clung to their skins and with their uninsulated home, she never felt truly dry.

That morning, their caretaker, an elder woman called Oliana, warned them of an approaching storm that would reach them by nightfall.

Amanda glanced at Sarek, who was clad in a thin, silky-smooth Vulcan trousers and tunic in a material designed to not hold water, as he prepared their days’ packages. _Should we go another time then? To the waterfalls?_

_I believe that unnecessary. We should return by the time the storm hits, and the overcast will not come until another six standard hours._

Ever since they first landed on Earth, the two hardly spoke out loud unless to emphasize a point or to speak with others. Sarek had told her it was to help them acclimate to the bond and help her strengthen her capabilities in directing her focus on certain things, rather than just outwardly project all thoughts. Not that she minded. It was a new way of reading Sarek. She could no longer see him as simply impassive, not like this.

Sitting at the edge of their stone porch, Amanda looked out towards the ocean and blue skies and did not see a single cloud. It really was a beautiful day, and once the storm hits, they would not be able to go out for the next few days.

They soon made the steep trek down to the shore using hand-placed stone steps. Eventually, the wet stone transitioned to white sand that shifted beneath their feet as they walked up to the ski.

_Can I drive this time?_

Sarek actually hesitated, and she tried not to feel offended as he took the time to calculate the possible misfortunes that may occur.

Making her decision, she promptly stepped around him, and began to move the ski into the water herself. Sarek moved to help her push, and when the crystal-clear water was at her hips, he assisted her in climbing up the ski. Her loose, wraparound skirt was soaked and clinging to her legs, but Amanda had long given up on trying to be dry on this trip.

When Sarek gripped her arm and pushed up to sit behind her, she almost fell back in the water under his weight.

 _I should drive. This is not following proper weight distribution,_ he informed her. _I am heavier and should be placed at the vehicle’s center of mass._

Still, one of his arms securely wrapped around her bare stomach while his other held onto the side handle. Even after their nights together, Amanda felt a tad flushed at his proximity and warmth.

 _Furthermore, you are distracted_.

“Oh, shut up,” she sighed out loud. Amanda reached forward and grabbed the handles. Just like riding a bike, she thought to herself.

Although Amanda felt his disagreement at that, he wisely did not put it into words.

Amanda had seen him do this enough by now to generally figure out how to start it. She also partly registered his thoughts as he funneled his past experiences to her.

She pressed a button and the vehicle hummed as it powered on. The screen at the base of the console projected a hologram map of the islands, and she stilled as Sarek reached around her to put in their location, his chin against her shoulder.

Now comes the fun part. Very slowly, she pressed on the handle’s throttle.

The cruiser shot forward six feet, and she very nearly would’ve fallen backwards at the force of it if Sarek had not quickly grabbed the handles himself using his quicker reflexes. Amanda fell back against his chest, which felt like a rock as he seemed to have expected this to happen.

 _You could have warned me_ , Amanda thought reproachfully, her head against his shoulder as she turned to look at him.

His dark eyes didn’t blink. _You instructed me to keep quiet. Be gentle in the beginning. It is quite sensitive._

Amanda exhaled and slid forward closer to the handles. Sarek followed and once again wrapped his arm around her waist.

This time, she very lightly twisted the throttle.

The cruiser moved forward much more smoothly, and she laughed and increased pressure. As she acclimated to the force of the cruiser while it skimmed against the crystal blue water, they began to move much faster. Amanda vaguely felt Sarek’s admonishment, but she ignored it as she began to follow the holomap’s route.

The turns were a bit tricky, Amanda will admit. As she sharply avoided a buoy, she felt Sarek’s alarm slip through while his grip tightened around her. It knocked the breath out of her lungs, and they both nearly tumbled off of the vehicle into the water. It was very clear from their bond that neither believed it was their own fault.

_It’s not my fault you’re so heavy._

Sarek’s disapproval stemmed strongly from him, and Amanda only laughed as they skipped over the waves like rocks thrown in a river. The spray of the water hit her cheeks like little needles.

When they reached the large destination island, they pulled up on shore and saw the market was beginning to close for the day. It was earlier than usual, and as they weaved through the stalls and people carrying baskets, they could hear shouts of updates on the approaching storm. Sarek allayed her nerves by sharing his surety and calm.

They began to enter the empty trails that winded all the way up the lush, green mountains. The path mainly consisted of wet, smooth stones that formed a makeshift staircase – much like the one leading to their bungalow. Vibrant green foliage offered her brief relief from the bright sun, and they saw many forms of wildlife along the trail. Birds and colorful insects flew by whenever they startled the branches. Vines and radiant fauna invitingly draped down the path like curtains to step through. And any time they paused and looked back, they could see straight down to the shore where their cruiser lay. It was not a steep climb, but rather a lot of winding side to side and up and down.

Amanda swatted away an insect. While Sarek was both well-acclimated to strong light rays and resistant to Earth mosquitos, she had to lather up on Federation-grade sunscreen and bug repellant every day.

_Would we able to do this during your ambassador duties?_

_I do not see why not. I will be on a schedule and may not always have the time, but you certainly will – should you choose to accompany me._

Amanda had still not decided what she would do now that she was married. No one besides Vulcan’s High Council and High Command even knew about their marriage. As their home was in Vulcan, she would no longer be able to work in San Francisco as an educator.

She had options to consider. Amanda could assist the Vulcans at the Learning Center with her previous L’tak Terai project, ask the Universal Translator team in Shi’Kahr for a position, or even teach again at Shi’Kahr’s Federation Center. Or, she could accompany Sarek full-time during his duties.

As Amanda had quickly learned from him, that would consist of more than being some kind of trophy wife as she had initially thought. It would mean learning the politics, cultures, and etiquette of dozens of civilizations, participating in conferences and dinners and meetings, and occasionally stepping in for him should the time come. She would inevitably become her own sort of political figure – one that many would reach out to or even try to manipulate to get Sarek’s favor.

Amanda had not made up her mind, and Sarek was careful to not influence her decisions through their bond – though she sensed that he preferred for her to be with him. The length and weight of each assignment would vary widely, meaning he could be gone for days or weeks at a time.

She supposed she’d have until the Federation conference to decide. Sarek would officially begin his duties after, and that was when people will likely begin to pick up on the nature of their relationship.

Eventually, Sarek began to hear sounds of rushing water with his acute hearing. It was not long before the trail began to line up with a stream of water that was flowing down the mountain. The closer they got, the wider the stream became until they found themselves at the edge of a lake.

They marveled at the sight. Waterfalls cascaded into giant pools of water that would then overflow over the edge to another pool. Staggered bodies of lakes were all connected by the streaming of water spilling over. The water was crystal blue, and lush leaves draped over the gleaming stones and rocks. The blue sky and mountains framed the crescent shaped valley.

Amanda stumbled upon some tied up, lightweight bamboo rafts in a shaft that Sarek promptly set up on the water, leaving her aghast.

 _Diplomatic immunity,_ Sarek reminded her.

 _I don’t think this is what they mean by that_ , but she grinned as she climbed aboard. Sarek quickly figured out how to use the paddles, and he pushed them away from the edge.

The water was so clear she could see the bottom of its sandy floor. It could have been six feet or twenty feet deep for all she knew. Her hand skimmed the cool, fresh water.

As they reached the edge of the falls and began to feel the spray of the water on their cheeks, Amanda instinctively stuck out her tongue.

Sarek, meanwhile, was already focusing on random details such as estimating the volume of water that must be passing through every hour. It hurt when he thought like this, so Amanda effectively blocked him out. When they reached some rocks at the edge of the waterfalls, she promptly tossed slipped off of the raft into the water, leaving behind her makeshift outer clothing.

As she swam underwater towards the boulders, she soon felt his alarm as he realized his mate had essentially disappeared and was blocked from his mind. Amanda allowed him in as she burst through the surface of the water and inhaled. She turned in the water and waved at him.

While there was amusement, Amanda also felt Sarek’s concern. _Take care not to get trapped beneath the larger waterfalls. There have been cases of the force pushing humans down and causing them to drown._

She acknowledged this and pushed up on the boulder. Amanda breathed deeply as she pushed her wet hair back from her face. Tentatively, she put her hand through the waterfall’s spray. It stung her hand from the pressure of it, but she laughed breathlessly.

_You should come sit with me here. The view is much better._

_Vulcans are not as adept at swimming than humans._

“I’ll save you if you sink,” she called out.

“I would advise against that. My bones are denser than yours, and you would sink as well.”

Amanda rolled her eyes. “Fine, just drown.” _Come here._

She could practically feel his inward sigh as if she was doing it herself. Amanda didn’t bother hiding her interest as she watched him prepare to enter the water. With great dignity, he took off his tunic and folded it carefully on the raft. His olive skin gleamed in the sun, and her grin quickly turned impassive as he shot her a look. Sarek easily tossed over a small anchor and promptly slipped into the water.

He gracefully sidestroked and cut through the water like a shark. When Sarek reached her and rested against the boulder, she peered down at him, smiling. Amanda reached down and brushed back his askew hair. “Bad swimmer, huh?”

She felt his satisfaction. “Practice is always key to implementation.”

Sarek pushed himself up beside her and at her insistence, touched the spray of the waterfall. He allowed her to rest her head on his shoulder as they took in the beautiful sights around them.

Part of her wished this would never end. But they had only a few days until they had to head to Paris. Amanda hadn’t thought about it much, but the idea of facing everyone’s opinions and shock at their relationship made her anxious.

Sarek, like he did when unsure how to comfort her, quietly extended his two fingers. Besides the rush of the falls, the air felt remarkably still when she returned his _ozh’esta_. Her expression was soft as she watched as herfingertips slid against his. Surprisingly, she could sense a hint of an ache coming from him as well at the thought of leaving.

_Would you want to go behind the falls?_

He met her gaze. “That would not be safe.”

“There’s six feet behind the waterfall – more than enough room,” Amanda insisted as she carefully slid to the back of the boulder against the cliffs. “Besides, we likely won’t be back here in a long while.”

Sensing his gaze on her, she moved behind the water fall and leaned against the cliff side. He offered her a hand, which she took as she slowly slipped into the cool water.

Amanda shivered at the sudden temperature difference from both the water and constant shade offered by the waterfall. She immediately headed to the stone wall, leaving a space between her and the waterfall. To her surprise, she could see the steep floor suddenly became comparatively more shallow right by the cliffs, where the stone was less eroded by the water’s force. Still, her feet were unable to brush against the sandy bottom, so Amanda leaned her weight against the cool stone, as she waited for Sarek to join her.

The cliffs domed above her and the falls acted as a wall, thus creating a little private room. Light streamed through the falls and reflected off of the small pool of water, casting a cool, blue glow along the stone walls.

Sarek was tall enough to stand at the base of the cliffs, and he didn’t pause in standing in front of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck while still leaning her back against the stone wall. This angle elevated her just a few inches above him. Blue light casted on his face and hers, and the sound of the falls wasn’t as loud compared to outside.

Amanda looked into his dark, impassive eyes and relished in the intimacy of this moment. Warmth bloomed in her stomach, and she almost shyly leaned down and kissed him. His lips were cool from the water, but they quickly warmed as he allowed her to part them. She felt a hand on her waist tighten, and she didn’t resist as he gently reached up with his free hand to cushion the back of her head against the stone as he deepened the kiss. His fingers laced against her wet locks, and the water lapped against their skin.

For both of their sakes in the water, Sarek maintained his control throughout, and she didn’t test the boundaries as she often did. Content with this sweet, sincere kiss, she held out as long as she could. But, as usual, she broke first for air. Damn Vulcan.

Amanda leaned her forehead against his as she caught her breath, and he watched as patiently as ever. She smiled and gently brushed her fingertips along the vertebrae of his neck.

Unexpectedly, he shifted, and his head fell at the crook of her shoulder.

She inexplicably felt an ache, almost like nostalgia. She turned and pressed her lips against the back of his head.

But she underestimated Sarek’s restraint. Because never ceasing in his flow of calm and control, Sarek unexpectedly pressed his lips against the pulse point of her neck.

The effect on her was almost immediate. Ever since Amanda had done the same to him their first night together, he was quick to pick up on the move. Her cheeks flushed pink as she instinctively tensed, her hand sliding down to grip his shoulder.

He didn’t cease even when her breathing became heavier – especially with the pressure of the water on her chest – or when her heartbeat became erratic. She forced herself to exhale slowly.

Amanda sensed that he partly thought of this as a challenge with himself. How strong is his control – especially now that he had to not only deal with his own desire, but _hers_ as well? Will his restraint last longer than hers this time?

His knuckles skimmed up and down the curve of her body, and his lips found her collarbone.

Amanda inhaled sharply, and when she shifted, her body slid against his. She felt almost dizzy, and her voice was considerably unsteady. “Unless you plan on taking this all the way _now_ , I forfeit.”

He pulled away as stoic as ever, but she felt his satisfaction.

 _Annoying_ , Amanda projected, but lacking venom. She let him feel her pleasure in his experimenting. She liked that he had initiated it this time.

At least Sarek had the decency to feel faintly regretful as it took her longer to stabilize her breathing.

When they finally went back to the otherside, it took her a moment to adjust with the blinding sun. When she did, she frowned and tapped Sarek to look.

Very faintly, at the far horizon, was a grey line in the sky.

_I estimate we have approximately seventy minutes. We should depart._

They made their way down much faster than it took to come up. As they did, the sky gradually grew darker and darker. By the time they reached the water cruiser, the winds were picking up slightly.

_We should just stay and find somewhere to hunker down._

Sarek disagreed. _The storm is not a violent one, but it will linger for the next few days. It is best to make our way back now._

Amanda swung behind him on the seat, and tightly held on as he sped them over the rocky waves. Anxiety grew in her chest, but she trusted Sarek. As the first drops splashed against her cheeks, eyes, and arms, she took a moment to marvel at the scene. All around her, the flat, grey-blue sea looked incredibly surreal as thin and sharp rain droplets fell from the sky. The view of the island faded behind her, and it was as though they were the only people in the world.

She blinked the rain out of her eyes and pressed her lips against Sarek’s shoulder blade.

Eventually, they made it to the shore just as the rain became a torrent. The drops splashed thick and heavy against her, and she trusted Sarek to guide them through to the stone stairs.

Amanda held onto his arm as they climbed up the slippery steps. Now safe on land, a strange elation took over, and she felt like laughing. But Sarek anchored her as they made their way up. Leaves brushed past their skins, and she could feel the ground shake as thunder rocked over the island.

Despite his initial words, the storm was getting quite violent. They made a wordless agreement to stop by a gazebo halfway up to their bungalow. By the time they reached it, they were both soaked to the bone. They rushed to hide beneath the protection of the gazebo’s roof, and they caught their breaths as they stared out over the island. It was striking to see all the trees sway in the forceful wind and the rain falling sideways. But here, in this pavilion, everything felt muted, as though they were sucked in a vacuum.

Amanda looked over and breathlessly – exhilaratingly – laughed. His own restrained demeanor got caught up in her emotions, and Sarek’s face softened into something that was almost a smile.

Without warning, she pressed her mouth against his heatedly. It was her turn to test him – challenge him – into doing something completely out of character for both of them. Sarek did, after all, wound her up rather tightly earlier.

 _No one is around,_ she coaxed _. And besides, when caught in soaked clothes, it’s best to take them off to maintain heat._

 _You are insatiable_.

Perhaps that was true, but Amanda felt him smile beneath the kiss. But as soon as he laid back on the wet, stone floor, she forgot everything else – including the storm around them – except for her husband beneath her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long! I wrote this way back in July, so this chapter had to undergo some major editing. But here's some good ol' fluff for the honeymoon period! I think it is rare for them as a couple (and Sarek, in general) to have a prolonged time of refuge away from the universe, so this is sort of an ode to their youth and young love. 
> 
> I finally counted how many chapters I wrote so far, and there's a solid amount of twenty-one. However I still plan on probably at least 7-10 (?) more chapters, so point being this story is LONG. It gets pretty wild/exciting/ANGSTY in a couple of chapters, so until then, enjoy the fluff. 
> 
> Love it?? Hate it?? Let me know, and I'm also curious about something: what aspect/event do you guys hope to see from their marriage? Hope everyone is well <3


	3. Announcement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amanda's dress: https://pin.it/y9pulL6  
> Her matching coat: https://pin.it/N1OwUBN

The United Federation of Planets Headquarters was centered in Paris and comprised of dozens of buildings sprawled over courtyards and gardens. Much like a university campus, it was a diverse and bustling area that seemed energized by the upcoming research conference – and there was _nothing_ got scientists more excited (and stressed) than a giant gathering.

Amanda could already see the strangest contraptions being transported by magnetized, levitating carriers with loud, flashing bells that signaled people to jump out of the way and narrowly avoid getting knocked over. Scientists and students of all ages ran around carrying posters taller than them. Last minute test runs and sneak previews of devices were on display in the grassy courtyards. A dog streaked past her, only to fade into particles of light as the hologram ended. 

Outside the Xenolinguistics building, Sarek himself had almost collided with a bicycle speeder driven by an Andorian that had somehow thought it would be a good idea to ride through a populated pathway. Indeed, Sarek’s stony face was only broken by a raise of the eyebrow as he stared indignantly at the retreating figure.

Amanda stifled her snort and resisted her urge to pat him on the arm. On the days leading up to the Conference, Sarek had taught her about Vulcan etiquette between bondmates. The greatest faux-pas: ‘inappropriate display of affection’, which basically included any form of touching and outward emotion. Amanda figured she could manage the first part, but as for the latter, well – she was only human.

“You’ll manage well enough, yes?”

Sarek turned towards her and tilted his head. The early morning sun haloed around his silhouette, forcing her to raise her hand and squint to look at him.

“I should remind you I have been on Earth for the past five years, and I consider myself quite capable of maneuvering the terrain.”

Amanda withheld her smile for his sake.

To her utmost relief, she had finally just been able to mostly master shielding her mind from his. While Amanda had admittedly enjoyed the connection and intimacy of their bond, it was a bit maddening – disorienting, even – to spend every minute so openly tied to him during their honeymoon. Those initial weeks were necessary in not only strengthening the telepathic bond, but also their relationship. But it was simply not feasible to continue doing so in the real world. Sarek trained her in how to revert back to her original mind state, thus rather than leaving their bond splayed out (which apparently Vulcans considered to be rather hedonistic and self-indulgent), she could instead choose to reach out to him.

Of course, she was still getting used to the bond – to make it feel natural. It was like trying to get used to a new limb, and she hoped that, eventually, she could manipulate it without conscious, purposeful thought.

“Amanda!”

They both turned to see a lanky young man with bright eyes waving furiously. He carried a manic sort of energy that just seemed to vibrate off of him, and Amanda vaguely sensed Sarek’s apprehension as the man drew closer.

Amanda laughed as he bounded in front of them. “Buruk, long time no see!” She turned to Sarek. “This is Ambassador Sarek of Vulcan. Ambassador, this is Buruk, one of my classmates during graduate school.”

Buruk did a double-take upon Sarek’s title. He pushed up his glasses, cleared his throat, and straightened. “Ambassador, it is a pleasure meeting you.”

Sarek dipped his head.

Buruk gestured to a man behind him. “This is Karim – he’s my partner-in-crime. We research together at the London Institute.”

Amanda could tell by his relaxed, yet confident posture that Karim had a charismatic dynamic. He nodded respectfully at Sarek and turned to Amanda. Indeed, Karim’s smile was blinding as he stuck out his hand in front of Amanda. “Pleasure meeting you both.”

For a microsecond, Amanda and Sarek both stared at the hand. It was strange how six months in Vulcan and sharing a _mind_ with a Vulcan could radically change the meaning of touching a stranger. But Amanda quickly squashed her hesitation and smiled, shaking his hand. “Same with you.”

Buruk nodded to the Xenolinguistics building. “Are you guys heading in as well?”

“I am,” replied Amanda, then nodding at the silent Sarek. “But he is meeting with a few of his colleagues.”

“Perfect,” grinned Karim. “We’re heading in now. You should join us – you’re heading to the 9:00AM seminar, right?”

She nodded and glanced at Sarek uncertainly, who looked back calmly. He clearly was not planning on participating in the conversation. “Sure, but is it alright I meet you guys inside in a bit?”

“Of course,” nodded Ben. “I’ll message your PADD.” They waved and headed to the doors.

Amanda turned to Sarek, her expression curious. How strange. “That was rather frosty, even for a Vulcan.”

“It was... unexpected.”

“What was?”

He paused in thought, as if uncertain himself. “It is no matter. Simply, in Vulcan, the customs are different.”

“I won’t learn unless you tell me,” she insisted.

Sarek had told her it was considered rude to speak through the bond in the presence of others, but she felt him lower his walls.

Vulcans didn’t feel certain human emotions like greed. Other emotions like love, were not felt exactly the same as humans, and instead they felt something analogous to it. And now, she learned that Vulcans didn’t necessarily feel jealousy either – the mere thought of offense due to possession to an object was strange to them. Instead, Amanda felt something that she, as a human, couldn’t even name. It was a strong discomfort that came innately from within Sarek, and it was tied to the bond. This was instinctive, and even he recognized the illogic of it. But it didn’t stop from his end of the bond to feel an almost physical discomfort at her shaking hands with the human. Because the bond saw touching as a path to a mental connection – and therefore saw it as a threat.

If Sarek was jealous, she would’ve knocked him on the head. But what he felt instead was quite different.

And for that, he did feel shame.

 _I can’t just reject every handshake,_ Amanda told him, somewhat apologetic _. Perhaps when we announce our marriage after your meeting with the Federation Cabinet, people will know it is against Vulcan customs._

His meeting with the Cabinet wasn’t until the last day of the Conference – three more days from now.

 _It is no matter_ , the logical side of him told her. _It is a human custom._

Before she could respond, he, evidently uncomfortable, smoothly continued, _I must depart. I am required presently._

_Alright, I’ll see you tonight?_

_Yes._

After a month together, it felt strange not to kiss or touch him, and it felt even stranger saying goodbye.

But Sarek, it seemed, did not share her dilemma. Without a further word, he simply turned and strode away.

With anyone else – with a _human_ , Amanda would’ve been mildly offended. But this was Sarek, her husband. Her very strange, very Vulcan husband.

Letting out the faintest chuckle, Amanda entered the building.

It was strange feeling the distance between them grow. The farther they were from each other, the more she had to focus on the bond. But it was still quite tangible, and she could feel his reluctance at the prospect of speaking to one of his Tellarite colleagues he was to meet with, much to her amusement. Sarek had told her they would be able to feel each other at a great distance – across even Shi’Kahr. But even he did not know the limitation of their bond just yet.

As they had their own fields of interest in academia – she with psychology and xenolinguistics, and he with astrophysics and engineering – it made sense that they would be attending their own chosen lectures and speeches. Amanda had prepared herself for seeing familiar faces, and she found herself excited about reentering human society, even if only for a few days.

With Buruk and Karim, she ran into some of their old classmates, and she was quick to catch up with all of them. As they spoke of their lives and jobs and so on, it felt strange to withhold information about her marriage and subsequent move to Vulcan. Instead, she focused on her past six months in Vulcan and the nature of her own research. They immediately became concerned. After all, the bombing was less than two months ago. Rather than bring up painful memories, Amanda smoothly changed the topic. 

Knowing Sarek was to eat dinner with some of his former Vulcan Embassy colleagues, she ate with her newfound group as well. By the time she came back to her and Sarek’s suite in one of Paris’ oldest hotels, dusk’s light lingered at the horizon. She sensed that Sarek was still occupied. Vulcans, after all, did not to sleep as much as humans and did not follow the same schedule as them.

At her questioning brush, Sarek sent her a brief, unformed thought. From it, Amanda gathered that he would be coming back very late at night.

Amanda already felt mentally drained from all the socialization and bustle from the day. Aware that tomorrow would bring another day just as long, she showered and laid in bed. She quickly drifted asleep.

Later in the night, she felt a weight appear beside her. Only partly awake and eyes still closed, she turned on her side to face him. Her mind, already relaxed and opened, effortlessly joined with his, and she fell asleep at the familiar presence.

* * *

The next two days of the Conference passed similarly. They ran around their own fields, only occasionally meeting and sitting together in a lecture. Overall, she met more with her old classmates.

Sarek himself typically had meetings and dinners with other Federation or Vulcan officials, but he managed to get out early on the third evening.

It was a surreal moment. Amanda, who sat among her classmates out in the courtyard, had seen Sarek approaching the table with an entourage of Vulcan officials. While Amanda and Sarek never revealed the extent of their relationship, neither did they ever hide their interactions.

It still felt strange though, when he reached her side and both groups fell quiet.

“Are you ready to depart?” Sarek rather forwardly asked her, not self-conscious in the least. The Vulcans behind him stared at Amanda, and she didn’t even want to turn around to look at her classmates.

She nodded, matching his unabashed manner.

Sarek turned to his Vulcan colleagues. “Until tomorrow, as scheduled.”

They bowed their heads respectfully, and for their part, didn’t glance at her as they continued walking.

Amanda gave a generous wave goodbye to her own group. They were less subtle in their curiosity, and she could still feel their stares as the two crossed the courtyard together.

“Do the Vulcans know?” she asked, very aware of the few inches of space between them.

“I cannot answer. But it is likely that they may suspect some kind of relationship between us that goes beyond colleagues.”

Their shadows began to slant on the cobblestone streets. The sun was beginning to set, and casted its last rays on Paris’ hills. “Would the Vulcan’s High Council or High Command have told people?”

“Vulcans do not gossip.”

Amanda rolled her eyes. She’s heard this before. “Right. They just ‘update out of necessity’.”

“Precisely. If they did reveal our bonding to others, the news would be more contained than if on Earth. It is unlikely that the Vulcans here have reached any such news. And your acquaintances – do you believe they know as well?”

She laughed, feeling a tad bit pleased. “After your rather direct approach, they probably suspect as well – more so than the Vulcans.”

“We are simply walking. There is nothing concrete about that.”

“Well, humans jump to conclusions, Sarek. And walking away with a person says _a lot_.”

Amanda felt him acknowledge this. 

“Would you prefer to walk or return back to the hotel?”

“Let’s head back,” she sighed, slipping her arm through his when they were far enough from the Federation Headquarters. Amanda knew this simple human act was against Vulcan etiquette, but thankfully, Sarek didn’t object. A few people on the street looked at them strangely, but neither of the two acknowledged it. “I should sleep early if I’m presenting tomorrow.”

“There is no reason to be anxious,” Sarek said simply. “You are prepared, and it is a sign of respect for you to be speaking on the last day of the conference.”

“I am not ready for the looks of pity I’m going to get.”

Sarek considered her response. “You inaccurately assume they did so for your loss. In actuality, it is due to the continuing contribution your device has made for the Federation.”

“Regardless of the reason, people are still going to be analyzing how I am handling it by how I present.”

“It is best to disregard the opinions of others. To allow their possible thoughts hold sway over yours is illogical. Expectations is counter effective.”

Amanda grimaced. “Will you be there?”

“If my meeting ends on time, then yes.”

Sarek didn’t understand why Amanda would take comfort if his presence was there, and she knew better than attempt to explain it to him. Instead, she withheld her sigh and followed him into the hotel’s lift. Others walked in as well, and they found themselves at the back. With the conference going on, there were many other races staying in the hotel as well, so they didn’t get any strange looks.

_We have not mated in three days._

That was certainly unexpected. Amanda’s cheeks warmed, and she purposely didn’t look at him. _Well, you have been coming back late these past few nights._

 _I am aware_.

She thought it incredibly bold of him to approach this while they were squished in the back of a full lift. _Is this your way of asking to have sex tonight?_

Sarek fell silent. Then – _You are anxious, and that will prevent you from sleeping well. You have previously stated the act of mating aids you in sleeping, so I am offering assistance._

Amanda stifled her laughter and met his piercing eyes. To anyone else, he appeared as unreadable as usual.

 _Tomorrow_ , she promised. _Tonight, I need to look over my presentation._

 _Very well_.

* * *

President Makena Akintola of the United Federation of Planets was considered young even by human standards.

But as Sarek sat before her and her cabinet, he could see that the calculating intelligence in her piercing gaze was not dissimilar to Vulcans. After the previous Tellerite president ended his term, few initially believed Akintola could win – she was young compared to other candidates and there had only been two human presidents previously. But her remarkable and decorated career in Starfleet that occurred during tense situations in the Neutral Zone, along with her clear integrity and power she spoke with made it clear she was the best choice. The Vulcan Confederacy especially approved of her levelled thinking, though Akintola was still known to be quite definitive and willfull in her decisions.

It was custom for new Federation ambassadors to speak with the President and her cabinet, even if briefly. Akintola’s cabinet was a diverse array of individuals, even in Federation standards. There was a Vulcan, a female that Sarek was unfamiliar with. Sarek had expected this meeting to be a winded affair, but indeed, the explanatory part of the meeting was concise and lacked the pleasantries that humans favored. He supposed it was for his benefit and their consideration for his race’s way of life.

“Do you have any more questions, Ambassador Sarek?” Akintola’s smooth voice had an unrecognizable lilt that was different from his mate. Her neatly braided tresses were pulled back to reveal her strict eyes.

“No. But I am inclined to inform you of a private matter that would typically be kept among myself as a Vulcan. However, this is a unique situation that neither Earth nor Vulcan has dealt with.”

“Proceed.”

“Thirty-five days ago, I have taken a mate. A human female.”

Akintola’s eyebrows shot up, but it was the Vulcan, called T’Noor that sharply spoke first. “Is the Confederacy aware?”

“The High Command of the Confederacy and the High Council, who are our leaders in culture, are aware. The ceremony was officiated by Minister T’Pau.”

“Yet it has not been announced?”

“Correct. We have refrained from speaking publicly about it until we informed the Federation first.”

“This is most irregular,” rumbled an Andorian, his antennae twitching. “Bonding to an offworlder is unheard of in Vulcan, and it is also rare on Earth. Did this human truly understand the nature of this ceremony?”

Sarek's tone sharpened, barely, at this insinuation. “She was indeed willing, and I had properly informed her of the nature of a bond. This was consensual for the both of us.”

“Thirty-five days ago,” echoed Akintola. She spoke with a presence that commanded quiet. A frown graced her features. “That was only a few days after the attack against the United Earth Embassy on Vulcan, which I am aware you were present for. What led to this union?”

“Dr. Amanda Grayson had spent six months researching in Vulcan prior to the attack. In that time, we had gained a mutual respect and relation towards another.”

Akintola nodded towards the Andorian. “Shayenk’s concern is valid. I have heard of this Dr. Grayson, and your union comes days after the loss of her team. Many humans will question the state of her mind after such a traumatic event.”

“My mate is of sound mind.” Sarek found this conversation to be rather irritating, but he spoke firmly and steadily. “I – nor Minister T’Pau – would not have proceeded with the bond if there were any reason of doubt.”

Akintola began to drill him with questions. “Have you both spoken about where you intend to reside?”

“We have agreed to remain on Vulcan.”

“What have you both been doing since the union?”

“We have travelled while maintaining privacy.”

“Has she spoken to others during this time? Any friends or family?”

“No. We communicated little with anyone else during this period.”

Akintola raised an eyebrow, and Sarek sensed a dissatisfaction to his responses. “To be frank, Ambassador, many would consider Vulcans’ assessments over the psychology of a human to be questionable and unreliable, due to the difference in nature of either. Furthermore, the separation and subsequent isolation she had from the outside since is a concerning factor.” Akintola tilted her head. “Will Dr. Grayson be present at tonight’s banquet?”

“Yes.”

“I will speak with her tonight,” she stated, leaving no room for objection.

“This is a troubling time to initiate a human-Vulcan relationship,” commented a Tellerite. “The relationship between both planets has been for the most part respectful, but it has understandably been strained due to recent events.”

“It is illogical to apply our personal relationship to the politics between our home worlds.”

“For many races,” asserted Akintola “– Politics _is_ personal. It is certain that Earth’s inhabitants will see your union as a symbol. In the best case, it will be viewed as a forward step towards acceptance and healing. In a worse case, it may be seen as a political maneuver by the Vulcans, and even the Federation, to ease tensions. As Vulcans are known to not allow emotions influence their decisions, it will be hard for many to accept this relationship is genuine on your part.”

Sarek momentarily fell silent as he considered her words. “This a valid concern. While I may not speak to all of Earth, I will begin by addressing you. It is true we are a logic-based race, but with matters as intimate as a bond, there is an extent logic can hold over our choice in a bondmate.”

“T’Noor, do you agree with this?”

The Vulcan had been staring at Sarek unblinkingly, likely attempting to detect any cracks in his collected manner. “It is not always the case. Betrothals are arranged between Vulcan children based on status and compatibility and are rooted in logical decisions. However,” she consented, “There are occasions when the children reach maturity and freely choose to not accept the marriage. While this can be rooted in logic as well, more often than not it is personal preference. Therefore, it is my belief that he is genuine in his statement.”

Akintola nodded and stood. Immediately, Sarek and everyone rose as well.

“The banquet is due to begin. Due to this time constraint, I will adjourn this meeting.” She turned to face him. “Ambassador, I will find time to speak with Dr. Grayson before the banquet concludes.”

Sarek bowed his head and promptly left the room.

As Sarek strode to the lift, he reflected on the cutting words of the President. Her mind was sharp, her cuts lingered even now. Subsequently, discomfort rolled in him unpleasantly, like a stone caught in his throat, from the perfectly logical points Akintola had made. She had revealed concerns that he has not thought to address.

This was unacceptable. He should’ve considered such things upon his marriage proposal.

Upon arriving, he smoothly weaved through the chaotic crowds that characterized human banquets. Eventually, Sarek identified her speaking with some of her past classmates, including the two males that he was introduced to on the first day.

They had arrived in Paris three days before the actual Conference began partly to explore the city, and also because Amanda had to find a garment for this occasion. She explored the shops on her own, and he had not yet asked to see it knowing he would simply see it now.

It was an elegant piece that draped down her body. It was loose and refrained from hugging her curves, but instead accentuated her slim neck and shoulders. Intricate bead work decorated the pale taupe fabric, and she glowed beneath the bright lights of the hall. Her warm hair shone in the light, which highlighted the soft, loose waves.

Feeling significantly calmer, Sarek reached out to alert her of his presence as he moved to the side of the large hall. Her head turned, and her eyes brightened as they met his. He waited as Amanda excused herself, and soon, she appeared in front of him.

“Hey, there. How is everything?”

“You spoke eloquently this morning at your presentation.”

He was rewarded with her slanted grin, which although asymmetrical, he considered quite becoming on her.

“Thank you,” she said politely. She lightly tugged on his robe in such a way that people could not see her hand. “Now, how was the meeting?”

“Satisfactory.”

Evidently unsatisfied, his wife brushed her mind against his lightly – curiously.

Can she sense anything from him? She had made impressive bounds in navigating their mindscapes, and little was known about the human’s mental psi-capabilities. Sarek admittedly had found this question to be of interest, as he found it rather enjoyable in observing how his wife quickly mastered it.

Amanda tilted her head, and he watched as her eyes roamed his face. Unexpectedly, she asked, “Will you join me out on the balcony?”

Evidently, she did indeed sense something of interest.

He nodded and followed her out the open doors. In this time of year, Paris was still in the cusp of winter, and he had been wearing thicker robes to accommodate the lower temperatures. However, he could feel a heating system on the balcony warming him up. It also offered a view of the city, which was washed with lights in a dark sea, not unlike the stars themselves. Amanda had informed him Paris was colloquially known as the City of Lights.

They settled at the edge of the balcony, and he expected her to marvel in the view as she often did, but her gaze was unusually intense as they analyzed him.

“Is there something amiss?”

“You are upset.” Her eyebrows furrowed. “Did something happen at the meeting?”

“I am not upset,” Sarek disagreed. “I am in thought.”

“Something is troubling you,” Amanda insisted, stepping forward. She still refrained from touching him, but their closeness was not appropriate. “But you’re blocking me out.”

“It is Vulcan custom to close the bond in a social setting,” he reminded, but he relented and dropped his barriers.

It was easier, he recognized, to let her in rather than to put his emotions into words. He felt her quickly sift through his recollection of his previous conversation.

Finally, Amanda blinked, and he surprisingly sensed strong disbelief – even offense. Paradoxically, however, she let out a laugh. As Sarek struggled to reconcile these two opposing reactions, Amanda asked with a raised eyebrow, “You seriously think that? That I have some lingering psychological _trauma_?”

“It is a valid concern.”

“You’ve been inside my head.” Amanda shook her head. “I think you can see for yourself that I was not incapable of making my own decision to marry you.”

“I had not considered that I would be unable to detect otherwise. As a Vulcan, it would be difficult for me to truly assess whether you are in a right state of mind. I am unfamiliar with human psychology.”

She stared at him.

It was the first time Sarek had felt such negative emotions directed at him.

Amanda was outwardly calm, if not stiff. “But I am, _husband_. If you recall, I specialize in psychology and am a fully grown adult. I am more than capable in speaking for myself and understanding my emotional state – which is more than you can say for yourself.”

“I do not comprehend why you are offended.”

“You think I might be crazy. Not to mention, you’re questioning the validity of my emotions for you." She scoffed. “Of course, I am offended.”

“It was not my intention,” he said simply. “I will like to correct your statement, however.”

“Oh?” Amanda raised an eyebrow, and he sensed that she did not like what he said. It was then that he realized behind her frustration was her hurt.

Sarek spoke carefully, not looking away from her gaze. “It is not your feelings for me that I doubt. It is my capability in reading them. Even now, I confess I have difficulty in assessing your current emotions.”

He saw and felt the anger seep out of her, her shoulders lowering slightly.

Sarek stood quietly, as his mate exhaled and pressed her hands against her warm cheeks. He could see now that she wore the same ivory gloves from their wedding ceremony. Amanda wore them, he sensed, so that she may avoid skin contact with others.

“I know,” Amanda finally said, calmly. “I knew that when I agreed to bond with you, and I understand that it is unfair to get upset at you about this.” Her eyes raised and met his. “But it’s okay if you don’t understand me a hundred percent. That’s not a failure – it’s expected. As long as you trust _me_ when I explain myself to you, including that I chose to marry you with a clear mind and heart, alright?”

Sarek nodded. “Yes.”

Her gloved fingertips briefly brushed against his cheek. Sarek felt satisfied at seeing a merciful smile grace her lips. “Okay. Let’s go back inside.”

Sarek had expressed on the invitation that he would have a guest with him, so Amanda was able to sit beside him during the banquet meal. As they sat, Amanda removed what he realized was a decorative outer garment, revealing a more form fitting gown of the same design beneath. It was perhaps more formfitting than Vulcans would have approved, but he decided to hide this opinion as they were on Earth and she would likely not be pleased by this.

Their table was joined with an eclectic mix of other Federation ambassador of various races and backgrounds. Initially, the both of them were fairly quiet after their conversation outside, but it was not long until Amanda was enticed out of her thoughts. Sarek found himself content to listen.

It would be her first time mixing into the realm of politics, even if informally. But Sarek was aware that she had an appeal, especially among humans and other unrestrained races, due to her amiable and open nature. Amanda was not afraid to ask questions about home worlds or other cultures, and she did so in a respectful and inviting way. It was more than Sarek would ever feel comfortable doing, but she represented the two of them well. It allowed him, for once as ambassador, to share the load of the conversation.

It was clear these ambassadors and their partners did not assume that he and Amanda were married or perhaps even romantically involved, but they were respectful towards his private Vulcan nature and did not ask.

After the plates have been cleared, that a pleasant arrangement of Earth string instruments began to fill the hall. He could see musicians on the stage as President Akintola invited guests to dance and enjoy the night.

Sarek and Amanda continued sitting, along with the rest of those at their table, which included humans, Andorians, Tellerites, Benzites, and more. It was always intriguing when such an eclectic group of individuals came together. Amanda seemed much more content and spoke to Sarek softly, and he valued this peace.

That was until a presence appeared at her shoulder.

It was the human male, Sarek recognized. The one that smiled too much – spoke too much. Karim.

“Good evening,” Karim greeted the table before looking down at Sarek’s mate. “Amanda, can I steal you away for a dance?” He nodded at Sarek. “If that’s alright with your date?”

“Oh.” Amanda paused, and Sarek met her gaze. She was not aware of the protocol for this.

At her mental insistence, he spoke for her. Sarek was uncertain what she had wanted him to say, but he felt it important to correct this human male. “Amanda is not my date. She is my wife.”

Everyone at the table, including this Karim, gawked at him. Sarek sensed Amanda’s own shock quickly fade away into amusement.

Karim managed to apologize for the confusion before retreating back to a group of Amanda’s old classmates.

The silence that had befallen the table was not hostile in any means, but Sarek decided to excuse the two. “Would you prefer to dance?”

“I’ve never danced at a formal event,” she admitted, but a soft smile appeared on her face.

“I have learned in my time here. I can offer to assist.”

Amanda nodded, and the two excused themselves from the table. Sarek led her to the center of the hall and carefully placed his hand at her waist while holding her other hand upright. They blended in among the swaying of the other couples.

He noticed the redness on her cheeks. _You are embarrassed._

_Everyone is staring._

Indeed, Sarek noticed the gazes on them from those who remained seated and from those by them on the dance floor. _It is expected. They are curious._

 _Is this closeness not inappropriate for a Vulcan_?

_As you are wearing gloves, that will spare us from most scrutiny from the Vulcans here._

“I think this counts as our marriage announcement,” she eventually murmured, as to not let others around them hear. “Karim will likely have informed every human around here by now. Speaking of which, I did not expect you to say that.”

Sarek raised his eyebrow but spoke just as gently. “It is considered improper in Vulcan for a male to have in his arms a female who is not his.”

Amanda rolled her eyes, but it lacked hostility. “That sounds a bit outdated in human standards.”

“It is our way,” Sarek answered simply.

“So whenever either of us are asked to dance, we say no?”

“Unless the situation is political, and we do not risk offending. This situation, however, was nonpolitical, and thus unnecessary.”

“You sure you’re saying that objectively?”

Sarek raised an eyebrow. “Of course.”

Amanda’s free arm was wrapped around his shoulder, and she leaned in so her mouth was hidden by her wrist. She was hiding her smile, Sarek realized.

“You are amused.”

“Yes.” This was perhaps transgressing appropriate distance maintained, as he could clearly see the striations in her light brown eyes. “It’s just – you really intimidated him.”

“It is strange you find joy in that.”

Amanda tilted her head, her tone smooth. “It was a good feeling when you told them we were married. I know you did it _logically_ to correct him, but I like not hiding our relationship.”

Sarek agreed. Though as he reflected back on it now, he supposed that he should not have revealed their marriage just yet. The President had not yet made her approval, but at the time, it was the logical thing to do.

His gaze swept around the room, and he found President Akintola at the head table beside her own partner and cabinet members. She was blatantly studying them, her dark eyes looking at Amanda.

Amanda seemed to have felt a shift in his emotions, as she lifted her head from his chest. He opened his mind and informed her of the president’s request to speak with her. Sarek felt an unexpected flair of strength, not unlike one does at the prospect of a challenge.

 _I should just approach now_ , his mate insisted as the song faded to its end. _Rather than just wait around for her to come up to us._

_Do you not wish for me to accompany and introduce you?_

_No need._

They moved synchronously off of the center dance floor. At the edge, Amanda straightened the collar of his robe. “I’ll be fine,” she reassured. Indeed, his mate felt calm, but Sarek also sensed an anxiousness to confront the president.

He pulled a single thought from her: _The president almost broke my husband._

Sarek raised an eyebrow but remembered her previous words to trust what she says.

“Very well. I will wait on the balcony for you.” _Be respectful_ , he added.

Amanda shot him small, teasing smile before making her way to the president’s table. He watched intently as she first approached and amiably introduce herself, and how Akintola’s eyes immediately began to appraise his mate. At Akintola’s insistence, Amanda sat beside her, and they began to speak earnestly. It was when they both looked back at Sarek from across the room, with Amanda’s eyebrows raised, that he decided to make his leave.

Sarek found himself outside on the balcony, the cool air refreshing to breathe in. He allowed himself to marvel at the skyline silhouetted in light against the dark expanse of space. The Eiffel Tower illuminated as a towering peak, a graceful spire over the city.

Sarek analyzed the possible routes this could take now that their relationship will soon be widespread public knowledge. Vulcans pass along such personal information by word-of-mouth – it is improper to mention such things in public news channels. Humans, however, are unrestrained in their speech. Personal boundaries were vague, and they had a tendency to interweave emotion and politics all into one. He estimated that the news will break in channels after three days. According to Akintola, and even Amanda, there will likely be both support and pushback.

It helped that Sarek was once the Vulcan Ambassador to Earth, and he believed he had many respectful interactions with their kind. Amanda had also assured him humans don’t focus on one thing for too long, and people will begin to stop caring after a few weeks. But it wasn't the humans he harbored concern towards.

It was difficult to gauge the response his people would have towards his mate. They would not react in favor or against, as was their way. But while Vulcans hold knowledge and sort it in their minds, they never forget.

So he must take care in approaching this when they, inevitably, returned to his homeward. It would not do for him to simply reveal that he had believed denying his strong emotions towards her would be illogical and detrimental to his mental being. That would not appeal to their logical side. The most logical thing to say to Vulcans – the only reason they would accept – is to say as he was Vulcan Ambassador to Earth at the time, it made sense to marry a human to understand their culture. Being untruthful in this regard did not bother him, as Sarek knew it was to protect them both. But he admittedly could not see Amanda being pleased with this.

Sarek sensed her approaching and smoothly locked the idea away. He turned to see her small smile, which seemed restrained compared to the joy and smugness she felt inside. Amanda had dawned on her beaded coat, and she glowed beneath the moon’s full light.

“I like her,” Amanda said, as she stood beside him. An incoming breeze playfully tugged on her strands.

“What had occurred?”

“Oh, you know," she said with a vague wave of her hand. "We talked about how the two of us met, our marriage, and everything in between. Our dear president was testing me, but in the end, she offered me her congratulations on our marriage and her best wishes.”

“That is fortunate.”

Amanda nodded. “She also mentioned that you received your first mission today?”

“Yes. I have been assigned to oversee the Deltans’ attempts to restructure their planet’s government and assess whether a membership with the Federation is feasible.”

“When do you leave?”

“Three days.” Sarek paused, as he looked down at his wife’s profile as she looked over the skyline. “Have you made a decision yet?”

Amanda turned to him, her expression soft and open. “I have decided to stay with you during your ambassador duties. I will travel with you and represent the Federation with you.” She then spoke carefully, “But when we have a child, whenever that may be, I will stay on Vulcan to raise them and also pursue whatever interests I have of my own.”

Sarek allowed a simmering warmth to flare – just for a moment – through the bond. Amanda smiled as he simply replied, “I am glad.”

Amanda hummed. “You know that we have one more person to tackle?”

Sarek cocked his head. “I do not understand the apprehension you carry at the prospect of me meeting your mother.”

“That woman is as mercurial as the sea,” sighed Amanda. “And my apprehension is not because of you, but because of her.”

“It is illogical. She birthed you.”

Amanda rolled her eyes. “It’s the same apprehension _you_ carry about me meeting your brother.”

Ah. “Then perhaps we can go forth with our diplomatic duties with – as you say – _free rein_ until we are mutually ready for such gatherings.”

“Agreed.”

They momentarily stood and basked in the mutual anticipation they felt towards their future together.

Sarek once again visually appraised his mate. This time, Amanda noticed and upon her questioning stare, he finally said, “This dress is becoming on you.”

Amanda tilted her head with a look he was becoming increasingly familiar with. _Mischievous_ , she had called it. “Would you want to head back soon? I did make a promise.”

Unbiddenly, he felt the tips of his ears warm. But with great dignity befitting his stature, Sarek simply nodded.

* * *

It was rare that Amanda ever woke up before Sarek did. Even though his body was still asleep, his mind felt her awareness grow as she stirred awake beside him, her skin brushing against his as she rolled over. But she was calm, so Sarek continued to maintain a slow heart and breathing rate. His eyes remained closed and his own consciousness was partly in a meditative state. His internal alarm informed him he had twenty-two minutes left of his scheduled sleep time.

As Sarek sunk back into his sleeping meditations, a sudden wave of alarm washed over him. It belonged to his mate, and he instinctively reached out with his hand, finding her bare back. His eyes opened and adrenaline released into his bloodstream as his body prepared to confront a threat.

But as Sarek turned his head, he felt her alarm fade into disbelief. Amanda was lying on her stomach with her elbows propping her up, her PADD on her pillow beneath her. His hand brushed up her spine to her shoulder blade while Sarek mentally urged her to speak.

“Oh my gosh,” Amanda finally breathed. Unexpectedly, she laughed, even though he felt horror in her as well.

Wordlessly, she flipped the PADD screen to him.

It was a news article with a bolded headline – “ _Exclusive News: Vulcan Ambassador and Human take the Vow.”_

Beneath the headline was a photo of the two of them out on the balcony. It was a mild enough photo. Perhaps they stood too close for human standards, but he was pleased to see it did not catch them in a more compromising position.

Amanda swiped the screen and a new article appeared.

_“Star-crossed lovers – a Human-Vulcan Love Story.”_

_Swipe._

_“I married a little green man!”_

Amanda laughed hard at that one, and he found himself smiling as well. A strip of the rising sun’s light peaked through the curtain and illuminated them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naturally, I had to include that reference about the Little Green Man from Diane Duane’s novel Spock’s World and make it canon in my universe (if you haven’t read the scene, I recommend because it is adorable). I sort of popped this chapter out rather quickly, so apologies if its a bit disorganized.
> 
> But AHA hey guys! It’s been a hot minute, and I have no excuse other than ~ta-da~ I’ve been writing a new Amanda/Sarek story! Basically, it is a MIRROR UNIVERSE origin story of their relationship (aha im so original, I say sarcastically), and I am soooo excited for it. The Mirror version of Sarek and Amanda are, as you can imagine, a lot darker, a lot bloodier, a lot SEXIER than the characters I have here. The story is longer and a LOT more complex than A Case Study, so it’s taking me a lot longer to write it. I have no clue when I’ll finish it (it's like 75% done), but unfortunately, this means I am focusing less on Culmination – but I do not ever plan on just abandoning Culmination. SO if I haven’t updated in weeks, do not fret! It just means Im still writing the next story. I adore all of you and your patience, so thank you guys for your support <3


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